


Our Love is Just (Human)

by vesnake11



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-02-04 09:08:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18601423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesnake11/pseuds/vesnake11
Summary: Part of The Prom Discord Songfic Collection and Inspired by 'Human' by dodie. (The references are there, look closely!)





	Our Love is Just (Human)

**Author's Note:**

> Part of The Prom Discord Songfic Collection and Inspired by 'Human' by dodie. (The references are there, look closely!)

Alyssa Greene had never been in love before that moment. She didn’t even really understand it, let alone know what it really was, although she was 16. All her friends had felt it. They had their boyfriends. Alyssa had boyfriends before too, but they were different. They would tell her they loved her and her whole body would turn to lead. She’d be queasy and have to run off like a chicken so she wouldn’t vomit. She’d never even get to lie and say she reciprocated; her boyfriend would always say some insult and then leave her.

But when she first felt it, it was different. She stood before the school’s renowned loser, Emma Nolan. The conversation on the way here from the ice cream parlor rolled like a metal ball. Now, a noticeably nervous smirk emerged on the petite girl’s face. She glanced away briefly but when they locked eyes again tension slid off her shoulders and she managed a smile. That was one of the dozens of things Alyssa liked about her. Her smile, the ever mischievous glow in her eyes, her goofy laugh, the way she bit her lip when nervous, the way her fingers treated her guitar like a small child, the way she could so easily get lost in her own world,the way her glasses fell on the bridge of her nose, the way her face turned a different shade of pink around Alyssa, as opposed to the shame-filled almost red her face looked at school…

Holy shit, that’s a lot.

Are you really falling for her?

The denial sank in one final time.

No. No way.

They had been dating for 3 months, but Alyssa was still trying to suppress how real everything felt. This relationship went against everything she’d ever been told. So, she tried to hold back her ever-racing heart, swallowing roughly. 

“So…” she muttered breathlessly. “What are we doing here?” 

They were at a local park. The sun was setting, enveloping Emma’s face in shadows. This made it hard for Alyssa to see the pained grimace on her face. Emma didn’t really know how to answer that. The blood was roaring in her ears. 

“I—” she could barely get out a word. 

Alyssa didn’t really understand what was happening. She grew up on Disney movies; two perfect people who were perfect for each other and one perfect ending. Now she was watching Emma as she shuddered lightly. 

“Babe,” Alyssa spoke lightly, moving Emma’s hair behind her ear from a pace or two away. 

Emma didn’t respond to that, only flinching and undoing the action quickly. 

“Babe,” Alyssa spoke again. “I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

Emma managed to slip onto a park bench. She was followed slowly by Alyssa, who slid down next to her. 

“I can’t read your mind, love.”

Emma sighed, gripping Alyssa’s hand hard enough to make both of their hands turn red. She couldn’t bear to look at her as she spat a curse to herself. 

“I’m sick in the head, sometimes.” 

Alyssa pursed her lips, careful to keep in mind what she said next. In the end, she said nothing at all, squeezing a little bit on Emma’s hand. 

“Everyone I loved has betrayed me, can you blame me for not believing I would ever be loved again?” Suddenly more words were spat from the fountain. “I...I’m scared of how fake everything feels.”

She winced. Emma saw it; she winced. She just screwed everything up, didn’t she? All this and she couldn’t even cry, everything was just a cloud. Why was she doing this; Alyssa didn’t care. Regardless, she turned to the taller girl.

And my God, the way she looked at her. It was odd. It wasn’t the typical heart eyes you saw in the storybooks; the ones Alyssa had always imagined. Instead, they looked desperate. Alyssa looked back at her, and her breath would hitch with every word she tried to say. Suddenly Emma’s head seemed to fall into Alyssa’s chest. Her heart began to race as Emma began uttering an unnecessary apology.

And that was the moment love made sense to Alyssa Greene. 

Love was something that was...inexplicable. It was being okay with holding somebody else up when they needed it and trusting them to do so for you. It was caring to be there at somebody’s worst so you can count on them, too. It was wanting the best for someone, but not really caring if they weren’t there yet. Instead, you help them get there. Love meant not being afraid to be yourself around another person. It was...human. Human...was the only possible way to describe the feeling that washed over her. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t a storybook. But it was better that way.

So now Alyssa sat on a park bench; ignoring the admittedly beautiful sunset around her. And although she knew it would wreck her ability to do well in cheer practice tomorrow because her back would ache, she leaned over, rubbing small circles in Emma’s back. She watched as Emma’s shoulders slowly stopped trying to pull her away from the motions.

“I want you to trust me,” The words flowed out of Alyssa’s mouth like water.

A small, incoherent whimper came from Emma’s lips. Alyssa managed a half-smile. Couldn’t Emma tell that she hated watching her suffer? Well, she guessed not. Emma was still trembling slightly as she looked up. The desperate look still in her eyes, she winced.

“W-what?” she stuttered.

“I want you to trust me,” Alyssa said again. “I wouldn’t have committed to this relationship if I didn’t care about you.”

The quarry of doubt took over Emma’s mind. “Are you--really sure about that?”

“Of course,” Alyssa stated softly. “I care about you more than I’ve cared about any other boy I’ve dated.” With that, she sat up straight again.

Emma’s face didn’t even change expression, yet Alyssa saw the visible shock appear in every detail of it.

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” the words felt like water again, they flowed so naturally. Too right to ever take back or deny ever again.

Emma shifted a little closer. She still didn’t let go of Alyssa’s hand as she placed her head in the crook of Alyssa’s collarbone. It sent a strange rush through Alyssa’s body. She reciprocated the movement, placing her head on Emma’s shoulder. A smile crept on her face, but she couldn’t describe how it felt. She wished that night would never end. It just couldn’t. She took her free hand and wrapped it around Emma’s torso, placing it on the side of Emma’s thigh. Neither one of them said anything for a minute. They both relished in the warmth of each other.

It was silent for what felt like eons to Emma. Her eyelids felt a little heavy. Alyssa’s skin felt like melted butter with every touch. Her heartbeat was an odd sensation that almost reminded her of one particular Sunday evening at her parents’ house before she came out. Before she had words to justify a crush on a girl. 

She was 9 years old. A winter evening. Her mom was cooking a nice warm dinner, the scent filling the house. In the living room, her father was playing tunes from the ‘80s, loudly singing Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey as Emma jumped up and down on the couch, dramatically playing air guitar. She quickly fell down upon the sound of the smoke detector. Her father chuckled as he found his wife fanning the smoke from a burnt chicken out the window. Needless to say, they ended up having soup that night. A very enthusiastic Emma got to help cook it. Her mother took over the air guitar as It’s Raining Men played during the meal. Emma wanted to know if it would ever rain pretty girls, but she didn’t ask. Her father was too busy laughing at her mom’s over the top lip syncing. That night wasn’t perfect, but she loved it anyway.

Why would a heartbeat remind her of that? Maybe it was the feeling of home that overcame her. That memory was, in fact, the first thing she thought of when she got kicked out of her parents' house a mere month ago. What happened to that? was the only thing she could ask as she cried herself to sleep.

Then it hit her. Alyssa was home to her. Who was the first person to applaud her at the school talent show? Alyssa. Who was the only one who dared stick up for her at school when she was still being relentlessly bullied to this day? Alyssa. Who didn’t mind countless lunches in the band closet? Alyssa. Who didn’t mind sneaking past her mother for calls at 2 in the morning or dates like this one? Alyssa. Who didn’t seem to mind the dirty looks she got for comforting Emma when she broke down sobbing in the middle of the cafeteria after having a carton of chocolate milk dumped over her flannel because she had just been kicked out the night before and it was just too much? Alyssa. Who stayed by her side relentlessly despite needing to keep it a secret? Alyssa. Who made sure she could still breathe after every panic attack? Alyssa. No matter what it would inevitably cost her someday...her friends, the respect of her mother; Alyssa was always there. Always infinitely patient. Always willing to listen. 

Alyssa reminded her of what love was when she was too scared to turn to anyone else.  
And she didn’t quite know what to think about that.

Without either of them noticing that the sun had completely set, Alyssa’s only shock back into reality had been the sudden buzz of a streetlight turning on. Her eyes popped open. She looked up, the light over the bench was yellowed. It perfectly illuminated Emma’s one exposed cheekbone. The other cheek lay against Alyssa’s chest. She smiled, not wanting to move, for the smaller girl was practically on top of her. She didn’t seem to notice the light had turned on. Her eyes were barely open as she stared aimlessly toward the moonlight. Then they shut slowly, a tired hum that vibrates through the skin on Alyssa’s neck is all she spoke. Silently, Alyssa removed her hand from Emma’s thigh, instead moving on to brushing her fingers through Emma’s hair. In response, Emma muttered something incoherent; but she was obviously happy.

Alyssa may not like the way she was forced to present herself at home or at school, but she had this amazing girl. This amazing girl she could tell anything to. She could be herself around her. This girl made her day. In return, she gave her a grin that she couldn’t find elsewhere. In return, they both gain a best friend. She could deal with the panic attacks and anxiety because it was a part of the showcase of who this girl is. It was genuine. She didn’t mind the dirty looks because this girl got them too, and the last thing she wanted was to leave her alone. She didn’t mind sneaking out because she wanted to spend more time with this girl. They fit like puzzle pieces. One falls back and the other is waiting there to support the other, keeping each other intact. Finding secrets they didn’t know they had, practically sharing souls. It was love. She loved this girl. She loved Emma.

Emma, at this point, had fallen asleep on Alyssa’s lap. She was drooling a little on Alyssa’s jeans. Alyssa couldn’t tell if she was breathing deeply or snoring. As her chest rose and fell, Alyssa took her glasses off and put them in her back pocket for safekeeping. She couldn’t help but kiss the top of her forehead.

“Well, I should probably get you home…” Alyssa said to herself. 

She wormed her way out from behind Emma. Half of her believed that would wake her up, but then she remembered her saying something along the lines of ‘I can hardly sleep anymore with all the crazy stuff in my life making my anxiety worse, so when I do sleep, it’s pretty hard to wake me up.’ At some point or another. Of course, it was more ramble-y than that. Regardless, she was right. And now Alyssa had made a plan. She lifted up Emma’s legs so she could put one arm under her knees. She took the other arm she had free and used it to secure her neck. With that, she hoisted her up gently.

She took a backroad to get to Emma’s grandmother’s house so she wouldn’t be seen by anyone from school. She was surprised by how easy Emma was to carry. Maybe that came from her years of needless stunts as a cheerleader. This made it worth doing.

It was only 9 p.m., but the town was surprisingly dead. Alyssa couldn’t hear any cars. All she heard was the brushing of the soles of her shoes against the asphalt road. With this came the occasional gust of wind. Alyssa liked it like this, though. She could really appreciate everything that this little town had. Quite frankly, it didn’t offer a lot to a lesbian teenager, but everything Alyssa knew was here. She looked around. The stars were beautiful.

She continued like this for a few minutes longer. She looked into the windows of the houses, yellowed by the ceiling lights. Inside were families, gathered around televisions who were watching some sports game. Alyssa felt a pang in her chest as she realized she never got that. Sure, she had her mother, but every once in a while she was left to wonder if she cared about raising a daughter as opposed to perfection. They never had moments like the families in the windows. Suddenly she found herself choking back tears. 

When Emma came to again, the first thing she heard was the motor of a car. Then there was a deep, shuddery breath from somewhere as she peeled her eyelids open and looked around. Where was she? The air smelled like car exhaust, a sensation her newly awoken lungs weren’t ready for. She wheezed lightly, and this seemed to catch someone’s attention.

“Oh, you’re awake,” she immediately recognized the voice was Alyssa’s.

“Yeah--” her voice broke as she coughed a final time. “What’s happening?”

“You fell asleep,” Alyssa said calmly. “I didn’t want to wake you, so I figured I’d carry you home.”

Emma turned beet red. She blinked furiously, eventually pinpointing Alyssa’s face in the dark.

“Can you put me down?”

“Sure, but I don’t trust you enough to walk home alone.”

That was for the better. Emma felt very disoriented at that moment. A little sick, even. Maybe that was the car fumes. Alyssa swung her down quickly, shaking her hands as she realized how numb they felt. They walked in silence until they arrived on Emma’s block. Alyssa was the one who broke that silence.

“Before I drop you off, can I tell you something?”

Emma felt her heart sink, but she responded anyway “Y—yeah, sure.”

They stopped in front of the lawn of Emma’s grandmother’s house. Alyssa glanced around cautiously before taking Emma’s hand.

“I—My God—This is gonna sound so stupid.” Alyssa was trying to figure out the words as she said them.

Betsy Nolan was going to close the window when she saw the girls on the edge of her lawn. She pinpointed from the distance the smirk on Emma’s face, and decided to stick around, and keep the window open a few minutes longer, to hear the mess unfold.

“You get to be stupid around me,” Emma said with a smirk.

“Well, not really stupid…” Alyssa began again, but her voice trailed off as she began twiddling her thumbs. 

“Since when are you the awkward one?”

There was a bit of a pause before Alyssa said, “Since I realized I’m in love with you.”

Emma froze on the spot. It felt like the world was spinning too fast to process anything, let alone those words. She went whiter than she already was, and that’s saying a lot considering she’d been called a paper plate before. Without her realizing it, her knees buckled. Alyssa was kind enough to catch her before she hit the ground.

“Woah...hey, you okay?”

Emma could only nod.

Alyssa’s smile held a concerned edge. She helped Emma find her footing again. 

“You sure?” 

The question didn’t have a sarcastic tone to it, which surprised Emma. She swallowed, her brain just now remembering what words were.

“Yep…Thanks for putting up with me.”

Alyssa chuckled. “Emma, I meant it. I do love you.” She went quiet suddenly. “And you’re the only person I’ve said that to.”

“O-oh. Oh shit.”

Alyssa laughed. She adored how awkward and dorky Emma could be.

“I didn’t expect that…” Emma muttered. “I didn’t expect tonight.”

“Neither did I,” Alyssa stated. 

Emma pursed her lips.

“So, I guess this is goodnight?...” Alyssa spoke slowly, turning away from Emma.

She had gotten 3 paces before Emma spoke again.

“Wait!”

Alyssa turned around, bouncing on her heels. “Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

The kiss she got was so sudden neither girl had time to process it. By the time Emma opened her eyes again, Alyssa had taken to running the other way down the street. Emma could still faintly hear the soles of her shoes against the asphalt. There was no point in trying to catch her. Instead, Emma streaked across the lawn, her footsteps loudly thumping on the porch as she walked in the house. Her grandmother looked up from her crochet project.

“Home a little early, dear?” 

Emma could only grin a response.


End file.
